At this point in my life, I look at myself and realize one thing: I am 22 years old and I’ve been wandering around lost and convincing myself that I know where I’m headed. There’s always been a disconnect with who I think I am and who I want to be. The goal, of course, is to make the two match up somehow. The idea of who you want to be, if realized, will direct you and once accomplished, will make you happy.
When I was a child, I always thought that when I was 22 I would know everything there is to know about life. I would have everything figured out. I would know who I am and who I want to be and everything in the world would be perfectly positioned just so.
I was wrong. So very wrong.
I realize this break that I am unsatisfied with life because of my own level of thinking. I have ideas about who I want to be, but none of them are mine.
Going through so many hardships these last 3 years from relationships with others, family and even down to myself, I find myself completely exhausted. I feel like I’ve been fighting a war. I feel that everyone seems to have figured out a way to deal with everything, and for some reason I haven’t. So I look to others’ lifestyles and try to understand their happiness.
We do the things we do because we feel that they have some sort of value. We believe that ultimately, we will be happy because of these choices that we make.
What if I told you we’ve been looking at the picture all wrong? That we’ve been looking at others’ pictures of what life should be like. Everyday we are influenced by others people’s thoughts, opinions and ideas. That is not to say that it is necessarily a bad thing, but that within these myriads of ideas, we must separate our ideas from others’ ideas.
It’s easy to become engulfed in others’ ideas about how to be happy. We must realize that happiness is a special concept. Everyone can define it for themselves.
Artists find happiness in creating drawings, paintings, music, sculptors, etc. all from the depths of their imagination. Writers feel an explosive desire to write out their ideas and reaching others makes them happy. Skiers, skaters, athletes, singers, chefs, doctors. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN IDEA ABOUT HOW TO BE HAPPY.
This life that you live is your very own. Take pride in yourself, your ideas and your definition of happiness. Be courageous enough to have faith in yourself and do whatever makes you happy. You may endure hardships along the way, but you will never regret the choices that you make. Even if you fall, you know the decision was all your own. Take pride in your experiences. Learn from them. At the end of the day, it is you that has to answer to yourself.